Monday, July 20, 2009

Shhh... I'm a Sneaky Thief

I went to the grocery store a few weeks ago to buy a few things for dinner. It was pretty slow at the store with only one customer ahead of me. A young white couple was buying their stuff.

Having been born in America, reasonably un-tattooed, wearing close toed shoes with socks, a polo shirt, and of half asian, half blue-eyed devil decent, I'd describe myself as a little bit "normal" looking (whatever that means). Plus I tend to shower daily, am reasonably well groomed, and I brush my teeth regularly. So I guess I'm somewhat pleasant to the senses as well (at least nobody's complained... to my face).

So anyway, I put my stuff on the checkout conveyer belt and there was like an 18 inch gap between their stuff and mine. And what does the woman do? She looks directly at me, doesn't smile, and then she puts the official grocery load separator between our orders.

Sure I know what the separator is for, and when it's a busy day and you have to butt your food up to the next customer's I get the purpose of it. But it was a slow day and this lady looked at me like I was trying to pull something akin to Oceans 11. Do I perhaps have the look of a grocery store checkout line thief? Is there a look?

So I pose the question and would really appreciate some feedback: Please tell me when was the last time that someone tried the old "piggyback my food with your food for free" trick at the grocery store? And what were the logistics once the customer ahead of you paid for your food? Did you then distract them when they were loading their groceries in their car and quietly take your items? Or if you were the victim of this crime, how did the exchange take place or did you even notice? Did you have to call the cops? Or perhaps you thwarted the whole thing when you saw that look that I must have, and pre-empted the attempt. Whatever the case, I've got to know!

I guess my best solution would have been to ask the couple ahead of me what their previous negative experience was so I could better understand it, but I had milk to take home.

1 comment:

Paul said...

George, great stuff. I've never been a sneaky thief, but my uncle used to do a funny trick. He would sneak an item that people don't normally purchase (such as capers or pimientos) beyond the divider. He never took it back, he just left it there to be discovered when they got home. He took joy in the fact that there was probably an awkward discussion on later on. "Hey, why did you buy capers?" "I didn't buy capers."